• thatgirlcourtnay

love is one crazy ride.

love. oh, Love<3

Love is such an incredible + terrify feeling. To truly open yourself up to a person and let them 100% in your life takes some serious courage, you have to let that little-itty-bitty person in red, who fills your head with doubt + lies, completely out. It's for once in your life saying, "Hey, so... my heart... yep it's right here, completely exposed, do what you want with it." Sort of crazy, I finally am for one in my life figuring out what love really is. I thought I knew what it was, but something completely had my heart blocked for many years, I don't know if it was hurt, or sadness, or more personal issues in my past. But, I for sure didn't know how or who to love. --- My parents for example, are DEFINITELY the best parents you will ever meet. There is no debate, trust me... they are. Even though, I sit back right now and I think to myself, holly cow.. How in the world did they still love me unconditionally after I did all these things, repeatedly. I sit back now a days, and think I really hope that I can love my child as much as my parents loved me. --- I guess you can call me a slow learner on things, especially when it has to do with emotions. I have always seen a doctor about my emotions, or had a physic to talk too. Most people find that weird, and I guess I do understand from a family who wasn’t raised that way it could look a little strange but, in my house - we had help, or someone to go talk too about all the problems, about all the choices in life. Growing up in a city, things are way more fast pace- You never really see anyone repeatedly around town, Everyone doesn’t know each other. To be quite honest, I really enjoy that better. I feel like, everyone is always in each others business up here in Indiana, maybe its me but— if you literally eat at a new restaurant some how the entire town knows you were there, and what you ate, It’s a little weird. But, then again life is weird. — I finally am on this complete journey of opening my heart to everyone in a loving way, it has taken me a while with opening up because I have been hurt. But, after you finally let yourself come back down to earth, you let yourself feel things, even when they don’t feel to great, you start realizing that you see in color and with emotions when you see other people. You start seeing things completely different, it truly is a whole entire way of viewing something than you ever viewed before. — I have been dating an amazing Guy named, Elliott. If anyone knows me, my love life in the past, was pretty insane, a lot of ups and downs, a lot of happiness and tears. Pretty much the whole shaa-bang. I’ve lived in a lot of places, and a lot of States, so.. you really learn a lot by dating other people. But, I finally have found a guy that- Yes, we totally DO NOT always agree on the same things, or stays out a little too late and for some reason completely forgets that he has a device on him called a phone that can be used to contact people; But, It’s true… I guess I might be a little needy when it comes to having a boyfriend ( what a shocker, i know. ) I totally never thought from being in a relationship where, we both are re-building our lives, becoming and changing into the people that we are wanting to be, could be so hard. — It’s totally true what they say about Balance, everything must have balance. — So, in our relationship, we don’t just have us to think about, Elliott has a son, who is now 20 Months old, oh my word- a Child an completely change your way of thinking, you make you realize that you are NOT the center of attention, I feel as if I completely have learned a different love from having not just one amazing man in my life but TWO! I have learned how hard it is to be a “Mother Figure” and also how completely wrapped up you get when you start creating a bond with a child. — I feel like, I have learned how to love the moment, Elliott and I started dated, and I think a 6 Month old taught me for the last year and something. — But, I couldn’t be happier about it. At first love was hard for me, and I know it will completely be harder as I go along, but I also have learned that love is a choice, when you make that choice to love, only you can make up your mind to love or not. — For example, this term gets thrown around a lot, “ I just fell out of love..” I don’t believe that, You don’t fall out of love, you give up or stop trying.

Learning to let yourself open up and love is a really hard thing to do, I totally get it. Especially if you have been hurt before, or in a relationship that you have been somehow hurt, its scary to let yourself go, and put yourself out there for another round of love, but when you truly come to that spot in your life where you are wondering if you can, or want to do it. I think that is the perfect time to try it. My mission for anyone out there who is reading this, and having a hard time with making up their mind to completely let the walls down in their heart, and to start living in a world with color pastels, instead of black or white, TRUST ME- YOU GOT THIS. Its truly believing and trusting in yourself and for me, trusting in the Lord. Let down those walls this week, give loving a person, your family, a friend, a stranger a chance.

Practice Love. I will be right there with you practicing with you. Swear.

Here are some pictures that Elliott and I got to do, for a photographer out of Fort Wayne, Indiana. She was so much fun + Loved working with her. It was awesome to take some in a house, where we were comfortable + just giggle and play around all day. My Aunt Michelle's house is so beautiful, the house is so intimate, and each room has the most amazing stories I swear sometimes, I think to myself how lucky I am to have a boyfriend who will get in photos with me, and do these shoots. Take a peak into our lives, people.

Photographs done by: www.kiarahtuttle.com/

@kiarahtuttle out of Fort Wayne, Indiana

Clothing choice:

Freepeople.com + hautelook.com + alexandani.com + davidyurman.com


Aunt Michelle's house in Columbia City.

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